Don't Give Up

Therapy

Dinner with good friends
A cool evening shower
A warm night-time cuddle
There are some things worth waking up for
And others worth going to bed for

An answered prayer...

The Lord's way are sometimes so mysterious they can cause the best of us to second guess ourselves. Seeing is no longer believing... belief is all you can let yourself see. We pray and ask for a miracle, and when one comes so close to home you wonder, "How...? Who...? What the...?"

But ask and you shall receive, simple as that.

So why is it that with my prayers now answered, I have questions?

Count backwards from 10 to 1...

sometimes it feels like you're strapped to the table...


but there's nothing wrong with you.

for all the progress...

what do you do when surrounded by animals
- pretending to be bipedal
- uttering sounds almost comprehensible
- mimicking the actions of the oddity that is our 'normal'

what do you do when the animal rules the city, and the jungle is barren
- when climbing a tree is safer than walking the street
- when a dog's bite is more welcome than an uninvited word

what to do when they do this to you

Refrigerate after opening

Another revolution has begun and it's the most effectual, yet quiet one to date. By the end, titles will change hands, portfolios will be handed over or handed in. When the smoke clears the rubble will be easier to pick up and rebuild. Small fragments of the abomination which previously stood slowly crumbling will be the new foundation of something better, something stronger, something respectable.

It's not everyday you get to think of or do something fresh, but when you do, cherish the moment. Only for a moment though... fresh never lasts.

Today I feel better than I did two weeks ago. That is not a bad thing.

Ooh.. the cuteness is killing me!!

Buddha and Dhara have reared a beautiful litter.

*Phew*

Last night I gave a three day old puppy mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and CPR. It was a not a pleasant moment seeing the third puppy of Dhara's litter of 11 lying lifeless, unknowingly pinned under her warm comforting body. It's twisted little face, gaping mouth and limp form could not convince me there was nothing to save it from the seemingly certain fate. I put my finger on her chest and pumped ever so softly and gently blew into her nose and mouth. I repeated that process I learnt in scouts, what then, seemed like only the day before. 30 seconds later I heard a gasp. I froze. Nothing. Starting again, countless seconds passed before I heard her grasp at life again. I started rubbing her body all over trying to stimulate something. The gasps grew more frequent until they transformed into steady breathing.

Finally I breathed for myself.

I am almost afraid to leave them, but they are in safe hands and I can rest easy that they are only two minutes away if anything else were to go wrong.

The Return of the Show

St. Lucia Jazz has come and gone. But the bigger story is that the jazz has come back. No longer just another Caribbean music festival, it can truly boast to be a Jazz Festival once again. Friday night however was John Legend. The man has skills. Until you see him live, you won't appreciate the talent behind the production.




Saturday's main stage show boasted Al Jarreau & George Benson, Gerald Albright with Norman Brown Package & Maysa, local jazz superstar Ronald 'Boo' Hinkson & Friends, and Thunder Box with special guest Steven Segal - yes, THAT Steven Segal - on lead vocal and guitar. Talk about a day to talk about.

Worth Quoting.14

"I am beginning to feel guilty about not feeling guilty."
Edda, on what she does for a living

Clean up on aisle 2

I realised today what I must accept mentally if I am to succeed... nay, at least to function physically. A part of my own history gives the best anecdote for the current chapter. As a warehouse worker many moons ago, I was one of two certified forklift operators. I took pride in my skill to maneuver the metal beast through fragile environments. It was a joy and a challenge, a skill and a job. Mostly a job. Move this from here to there. Don't get fancy. Don't break anything. That's it. Thanks.
Now as graphic designer in an agency, I find that with all the training, education, experience and aptitude for something better, I am still that forklift operator. Turn these words into pictures. Don't get fancy. Don't think. Thanks.
I am coming to terms with the fact that the more I bring, the more I lose. I am not a creative resource, I am a machine operator. For the sake of the work and my sanity from eight in the morning to five in the evening, this is my reality.
This career is becoming just another job.

Hold it open

Yesterday was a good day.
The yard was cleared and cleaned. The dishes were cleaned and cleared. The day was... well, you get the idea. We took the bikes out for a round-the-island in the afternoon. The new baby (yet to be named) performed. very. well.... very. well.
It was a good day.

Worth Quoting.13

"Will you still regret me in the morning?"

Because it's been too long

How is everything on your side of the monitor? Life here is still something of a paradise, but can get trying at times. I am wondering how long I can stay in the same job, at the same company... I've been here over 4 years now (a record for this nomadic soul) and although it looks like an upward move is in the works, I don't know for sure. Some days I am just too tired/fed up to care, the challenges not being worth the stress. But then there are those days when it seems to make perfect sense... ah well. I am rambling now.
My cousin is getting married next june in MD and I really hope to make it up to be there for her. If we do go up you can be certain a trip trough FL is mandatory ;)
Right now I'm hoping my baby is pregnant (dog, not wife LOL) and trying to finish off another level of certification in my scuba diving. Other than that, it's pretty much the same old same old.

Fun in the sun

A sand sculpture I did for a turtle watch documentary last month. I'll try to get a clip of it in the actual footage later.

The babies

Empress Dhara




Dhara cleaning her teeth




Buddha doing the same





Lovey Dovey... or something like it




They really are posers




Buddha is bored



Sleepy time down south

Vroom

I finally took some glamour shots of the new ride. Presenting my Suzuki GSX-R600K4, streetfighter edition of course!

What made you smile today?

I actually remembered my rainsuit this morning despite the brilliant sunshine. While at the ATM it started raining, so I pulled it out and put it on, donned the helmet and headed back out in the downpour to the new ride. I felt like Superman changing in the booth. It made me smile.

Why.

It's been a while.
*NEWS*
-Last Friday I finished my new bike (custom GSX-R600K4 streetfighter - pictures coming soon).
-Monday was our six month anniversary.
*END NEWS*

Last night and in to this morning I realised my time was being wasted at work. My time, talent, creativity, experience and patience. I want to do the work, but the outcome is becoming not worth the effort. The saddest part is that the powers that be don't seem to notice. And it's not just me. I give the required and then some, I answer every request beyond the call, and yet every output seems to come to naught.

And I ask myself, "why do I bother?"

Probably the same reason this is the only area I make sure I use proper grammar, punctuation and capitalisation. I don't respect the machine enough to care that it 'thinks', but I do respect the viewer, so I bother.

Which is why I can't give into the apathy at work, why I do bother... and why it bothers me. I know what I want to do, but still to be determined is what I need to do. And how. And when. And most importantly

why.

Will you...?

A few weeks ago my cousin got engaged in fine style, on her first open water dive in the Bahamas. Congrats T.