Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

[Dhara's entry]
It's that time of year for me. Only comes around twice, but boy does it seem to last forever! Those humans who share my home have me locked down out on the balcony and have tied Buddha in the furthest corner of the house. Are they mad? I NEED my man right now!!! I get a glimpse of him sometimes through the glass doors. I think he's suffering more than I am... at least he's still eatting this time. He's figured out how to get out from the leash clip twice in vain attempts to come rescue me, so the folks have him strapped with Dad's climbing carabiner. He'd need opposable thumbs to beat this one. Poor guy.
But enough about him. What about my needs? I tried being more lovey-dovey with them, and it gets me as far as their room, but still no action. Dad says despite the smell, this is good for me because I haven't been as confrontational with other dogs, and I put on a few pounds too. I try to tell him, it's just a phase... I'm too horny to care about that right now. He says I'm still too young for fooling around with boys so just cool out. I'm in HEAT Dad!!!
Whatever!
Anyway, next week it will be back to normal. Mom says "so much for my clean house". Ah well, what you gonna do. You know you miss me sneaking up in the middle of the night to keep your feet warm.
Who wants the heat now, huh?